Nothing but Song

Right. I canNOT wait for this semester to be over already. I’m so burnt out, it’s not even funny. I just… I dunno.

I don’t think I’m gonna get a hot grade in my History of Japan class. I’m well behind in a ton of assignments, but I can’t shake this procrastination bug. All I want for that class is a passing grade, even if it’s D. So I just have to stick my nose to the grindstone - as they say - and turn in all my assignments, even if they’re late. She put attempt #3 on one of my reading assignments, so I know for a fact she’ll take late work.

Just finished another Marketing midterm a few hours ago, had 12 days to do it, rofl. Did OK methinks. Instead of throwing the questions in random order, he put the true/false ones first, then the essay ones after, plus some extra credit ones. Much easier than the first one, where he threw in true/false, multiple choice and essay in the pot. V. confusing, that first midterm.

Biology… ehhh. I’ve increasingly gotten worse grades on each successive exam. However, there is a lot of different elements that prevent me from getting decent grades in that class. One of them is closing at my job the night before I go to class, not getting to bed until 1AM (if I’m lucky; it takes awhile to unwind), and waking up at 6AM for the 7AM meet time. Meep. I like the class and the teacher and he practically gives all the answers, but it’s hard to concentrate when you’re quite literally nodding off, and you have to stop yourself from smacking your head on the table.

Advanced Composition…. double ehhh. Not happy with my output, but can’t concentrate half the time. Online classes will do that to you. But I just have to be positive and finish out the term.

I signed up for my classes next semester, all of them on campus and close together, so I don’t have to run around like a chicken with my head cut off. Which was my main complaint the last time I took most of my classes on campus.

I’m gonna be taking Writing About Literature, Literature of the American West, the Bible as Literature, and Pop Culture in 20th Century United States. I’m taking History of Photography online as my upper division elective (trying to clear those UD electives as quickly as I can) this summer. I was hesitant to take a summer class, but I am SO FRICKIN’ CLOSE. I can smell it. I can taste it. I just have to stick to my guns, and I’ll be done before I know it.

Still haven’t Clepped my final year in French. Well, I have another year and a half to sort it out, rofl.

Fact of the matter is employers don’t give a shit what you got your degree in. Anyone who tells you otherwise is only fooling themselves. They just wanna know that you applied yourself for 4 years and were disciplined enough to get one.

a picture to break up the monotony.

I’m trying to be positive. I mean, I do tend to get emo sometimes, but I’m so close to having it all come together. Doing OT at work helped my bank account a lot, so my financial worries are on the back burner for now.

Since I did do that OT, I decided to splurge on Friday night. So I took my nieces to the library, because I thought the library would be open until 9. Was wrong; closed at 6, we got there at 7. lulz.

So we went to Target for an hour instead, and bought “Santi” by the Academy Is…, plus a couple of new bras (my boobs have shrunk from all the weight I’ve lost *sad face*) and toiletries for me.

Then we went to Jack in the Box to split their chicken breasts strips meal. I got an Oreo milkshake. Yum.

Afterwards, we went to Barnes and Noble to buy Blender with Arcade Fire on the cover ’cause Ryan from Panic! at the Disco was in it, showing Blender around Vegas. RYAN ROSS SHOPS AT MY RECORD STORE. How’s that for a small world?

After THAT, we decided to go to Red Rock Station to see “Disturbia”, and as we came upon the theater, a huge fight broke out between these 2 thugs. Security did NOTHING. I was shocked, and I was there with my nieces. It was tres horrible.

But I wasn’t gonna let some chavtastic bastards ruin an otherwise perfect night, so instead of buying tickets to “Disturbia” (which was on too late), we saw “Blades of Glory” which was our second choice.

Excellent movie. There was a part in the film where Will Ferrell’s character grabs Jon Heder’s character between the legs for a certain move, and my youngest niece burst out laughing. It’s her special laugh, reserved for the funniest of moments. She hardly ever laughs like that, but when she does, you know she thinks it’s funny. And she was laughing for a good long while because of that scene, rofl.

The movie got out ’round midnight, and got home in one piece.

It was nice to just forget abt. my problems for a few hours and spend time with my family like that. I wish I could do it more often, but it’s tough when you work weird hours and go to school full-time. I wish I had a set schedule so I could accommodate fun into my life sometimes, rofl.

?: “Last movie you saw?”

It’s been a long, hellish week. I’m so emotionally zapped from everything (see previous entries as needed). I need to chill. So I did nothing when I got home from work today, except mess around online and return the Griffin iTrip I bought at Target. I used it at work for a couple of days. I returned it because I needed the money for my car. I was short like .36 cents (I told you I was poor!!). The iTrip cost like $40 bones.

Anyways, I wouldn’t recommend it.

Pros: small.

Cons: didn’t match with my black iPod, kinda hard to work the buttons to go the way you want them to, and it works off the battery of your iPod. I dunno abt. you, but I have a tendency to change the song if I don’t like it at that moment. So after about 8 hours of continuous usage, plus shuffling and my constantly changing the song, it got v. close to draining the internal battery.

So anyway, I decided to start planning my classes for fall term this year. And over the course of 2 hours or so, I figured out something v. cool. If I take 5 classes this upcoming fall term ‘07, then 4 in spring ‘08, and then another 5 in fall ‘08, I’ll be done with school. I will be the proud owner of a Bachelor of Arts degree in English.

Yeah, I know I was going on and on abt. switching to History awhile back, but I figure I’m more than halfway to an English one, why stop? Life is tough, and I’m not going to quit because it’s hard. I’ve given up on a lot of things because they were too “hard.” I don’t want my degree to be the one thing I gave up on, even though I’m technically not. I’m doing something as trivial as changing majors.

Besides, it’s a Fire Pig year. I don’t wanna tempt the Fates.

Can you believe it? 1.5 more years!! I keep double checking my calculations, and they’re not wrong.

They gave me an official degree audit when I started last fall (since I transferred in an Associate’s), and I filled in the blanks with all the classes I’ve taken thus far, and the classes I wanna take. It includes the ones that transferred, plus accounting for all the requirements from the school for a bachelor’s.

And here I thought I was years behind!

*Snoopy dance*

I haven’t registered for fall yet, but I plan on taking Writing About Literature (required for major), Pop Culture in 20th Century United States (elective), Literature of the American West (required for major), Principals of Management and Organizational Behaviour (required for minor), and Bible as Literature (required for major).

But I’m gonna be flexible for the final semesters.

The classes I want to take for my major haven’t been offered since I’ve started (Women & Literature, The Victorian Period, & Gender and Sexual Identity in Literature). I had to choose between taking Bible as Lit or Fundamentals of Business Writing this fall, and I chose the Bible as Lit. So altogether, that’s 4.

The electives I’m not worried abt. so much, since 2 of them are lower division business courses (Accounting and Business Law), and the other 2 are upper division history (since no other elective offers upper division courses that appeal to me). Frankly, I don’t care what UD history I take, I know I’m gonna love ‘em.

Plus I still have to take the Community-Based Learning Capstone. It’s a senior project, at least that’s what I was told.

I’m gonna have the biggest party when I graduate. You don’t even KNOW.

?: “How close are you to your degree if you’re in university? If you can’t answer that, why did you decide not to go to university?“

When I get upset and stressed out, I can tell you two things will happen: I will get a humongous migraine in the back of my head, and a zit (or two) will follow the next morning. Like clockwork, both happened in the last two days from the money problems I have been having (see previous entry).

My Ate called me just now to give me grief AGAIN abt. bouncing checks, how she has so many more bills/responsibilities than me, how I could never be on my own, and shit. She’s trying to guilt trip me. Trust me, she doesn’t have to do that. I do that enough on my own, thanks.

Anyways, I use toothpaste on zits when I sleep to get rid of them. As soon as I put it on last night, it started stinging painfully, which told me that the toothpaste was drying out the zit really well, and that this stress is really getting to me.

But my dad starts banging on my door this morning, and says, “Do you have school today?”

“Shit!” I say in my head, and fumble for my glasses and to look at the clock. 8:01AM. “Shit! Class started an hour ago!” I had already missed last Thursday because I was so tired from doing OT at work that I couldn’t get out of bed. I was like, “I can’t afford to miss another class!” I was sleeping so heavily, I didn’t even know what day it was. Have you ever gotten like that? I hate that. Plus I knew I could sleep in on Wednesday because I didn’t have to work or go to school. Since he woke me up from a deep sleep, I was so turned around, I couldn’t focus.

As he’s yelling, I have to stop and think, “Wait, yesterday was school. Today is Wednesday. You don’t have school on Wednesdays.”

“Can you take her to the bus stop?” he says from behind the closed door. He’s retired and the family chauffeur, and he usually takes the girls back and forth to the bus stop, unless something comes up. However, he makes me do it when I’m off from school and work.

“Okay,” I say, my voice thick with sleep.

Like I have a choice.

Anyways, I stumble to the bathroom and examine my face. The toothpaste had dried so well, it pulled off the top part of the zit to much incredible pain. I know; TMI, but trust me, it goes hand in hand with the rest of my story.

My dad is blundering around downstairs, as my bleary eyed self goes to collect my niece. He says that he has to wait for the cable guy to fix our satellite dish, and then he stops.

“What’s that on your face?”

“It’s a zit,” I whine. I barely slept the night before from all the drama, so excuse me if I’m just a little more than cranky.

“Who - what gives you zits?”

“Ate,” I reply. Her daughter - my niece - giggles from beside me.

My mom just called me to tell me that she wants to help shave the Ate!Bill, as I shall call it from now on. I hate that she feels the need to want to help bail me out. It’s all my Ate’s fault. Now that school is paid off for the semester, I’m going to have more money to help clean up the Ate!Bill.

However, all this stress has made me wanna channel it into something positive. I started writing a story called “The Car Thief.” It’s pretty good, actually, considering I haven’t written anything creatively in months. I’ll have to share it with you once I’m happy with it. Here’s the first paragraph…

I sometimes wonder, at every fork in the road of my life, would I be as happy as I am now? Of course, the definition of happy is all relative to where you are in your life at any one time. But I tend to over think about my decisions. If I hadn’t stopped taking piano lessons at 12, would I be a piano virtuoso now? If I had gone on that local movie audition that my theater teacher said I was a shoo-in for, would I be an actress now?

I met him twenty-four hours before I was supposed to get married to my former English professor. I met him at a very important point in my life. This is my story.

It’s gonna be a short story. Of course, as I’m writing it, I’m imagining it as a movie, as I so often do. I’ve already cast David Anders as the Car Thief, and William Fichtner as the English professor fiance. It’s pretty good in my head. Now I’ve got to get it out on paper!

?: “Do you have a lot of stress in your life?”