My mom is okay, and back to worrying abt. money & bills. Bless her.

As such, I’ve spent the last few days feeling emotionally drained from all the stuff in my last entry. I dunno if you’ve ever felt like that, but when everything just kinda compounds and blows up, you don’t feel like you can go on with your life.

Like the days when you wish you could just sleep away your problems?

Yeah, that’s how it’s been for me.

I’ve been listening to my “I Believe in You” playlist at least once a day. I feel like music is the only thing that is going to get me through this bad patch. Like it always has.

I can always depend on it. It won’t break my heart, it won’t forget me, and there is a song for every situation, emotion, problem and everything. It will listen to me when I cry, when I feel like breaking things, when I’m in my car, feeling infinite.

If I hadn’t been closing at work these last few days, I would’ve been a useless slug at work. I hate having to fake a smile when all this is going on in my life.

And I feel guilty for saying that, because there are prolly a million ppl who would kill for my job and my life.

And I shouldn’t say all of this, because if I do, karma will think it funny if I were to lose my job, lose my car, lose my chance to finish school.

Since money is going to be a problem heading into fall term, I’ve decided to apply for jobs at school. One as library monitor, and another as a computer lab monitor. Either one would suit me. Both are part-time. I have just enough hours between my job and school this fall to accommodate either one.

I can’t live on this paycheck anymore. There’s just no way. I hope someone calls me back. *crosses fingers* I don’t think I will get called back for the computer lab one, because I applied at the beginning of the year and I think they called me back for an interview, but I didn’t call them back, because I thought that my current job would be enough. So they’ll prolly see my application and laugh in my face. I hope that doesn’t weigh in on their decision to interview me.

I’m a good worker. I do as I’m told. I don’t rock the boat. I mind my own business. I ask questions if I don’t understand things. I’m loyal. And so long as no one in charge lies to me, you’ve got me for life.

Wish me luck!

?: “Do you ever feel like sleeping away the problems in your life?“