Feeling :  gloomygloomy  Listening :  People as Places as People - Modest Mouse  Reading :  Bad Childhood - Good Life by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Had a bit of family trouble last Friday. Something wasn’t right with my bills, and it turns out my gut instinct was right. I don’t feel comfortable talking about what went down, but I will say that the implications that it was my fault was completely uncalled for. You think you trust someone who knows better, and they listen to the little devil on their shoulder instead. *le sigh*

Wow, I got a lot of comments in that last entry! I’m going to reply to them, because a lot of them asked questions that need to be answered. But instead of wasting this entry answering them in this entry, I will edit them and add my comments. :)

This week is Thanksgiving. This year is a little different, I’m going to be working. I will be closing, because I get holiday pay. Besides, my supervisor asked if I could close (wanted a mid shift instead), but since I figured I owed them for all the times I’ve asked to change the schedule for my gigs. TBQH, I don’t really want to go to the family party. It’s gonna be the same as always, everyone dividing into cliques and pretending that I want to be there when really, all I want is the food.

My dog got sunburned on the tips of his ears this summer. And now black flies love his ears. I rubbed it away, thinking it was dirt like our other dog had, but it wouldn’t go away. So I looked it up, and it’s called fly strike. Sheep get it mostly, but dogs can get it if they are outdoors in moist, hot conditions. Which makes sense because we bought a mist system for him, thinking it would help cool him down. We did it the previous summer with good results. It kept the dogs cool and we don’t have to constantly bring them in and out.

Apparently, he has had this condition since the summer, but my nieces - who usually take care of the dogs - didn’t say anything. They just assumed it would go away on their own. What hurts me is that they didn’t question it. And then I feel guilty for not taking care of him when I should have.

It gives me creeps to see the words, and see it actually happen. The tips of his poor ears are black and crusty. He can’t enjoy lounging around in the sun without the flies flying around and being incredibly bothersome, poor baby. They’re not red or bleeding, like the symptoms on the veterinary websites I’ve researched say, so I hope they don’t arrest me for animal abuse. It’s awful. I feel like a terrible dog owner.

If I hadn’t had the dream about him, I would never have noticed and I would’ve gone on with my life as usual.

Yeah, speaking of that dream… I had this dream that me and my dog (his name is Simba, like the lion, rofl) went swimming in the ocean. If there’s one thing my dog hates, it’s baths and water. I’ve never taken him to the ocean, so I’m not quite sure how he’d react. But he trusted me in my dream enough to go in with me. In a way he was leading me there, telling me it was okay. So I woke up the next day feeling guilty and went outside to take care of him and Coco (my sister’s dog). That’s when I noticed the flies buzzing around, and his ears.

I bought him and Coco a stinky fly trap from Home Despot that attracts flies. It hasn’t been working as well as I thought it would, but the directions said it works better in the sun. So I did some research in between customers at work. I was like, “I have to do something, this isn’t right.” So I moved his kennel so that he - and the fly trap - will be in the sun more often. It’s only a temporary solution, but I’m going to Banfield first thing in the morning. They take walk-ins, so I’m going down there with him and try to be the first ones in. I’m not going to live with this guilt in my stomach any longer.

I want to skip my classes tomorrow for him, but that’s not the way to go and I know it. No one else in my house wants to take care of him beyond feeding him and picking up his poop. He’s my baby, and he’s suffered enough. I’m not a tree-hugging PETA hippie, but I love animals and don’t think they should suffer like this. In my defense though, if I had known about it sooner, I would’ve taken care of it sooner. I’m the kind of person who can’t watch Animal Cops on Animal Planet without wanting to cry half the time! I hate people who treat their animals like the people on that show do.

I don’t want to be known as that kind of person either.

?: “Do you have any pets?”